Friday, May 22, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Things girls should never tell single guys
I just had a disturbing experience... I was booking it through the torrential rains that Jacksonville seems to be experiencing to go get my mail, and on the way back wandered across the parking lot to talk to a couple of my neighbors (Lets call them Fire-Hair and Preggo). One of these lovely ladies is about 8 months, three weeks pregnant. So she's ready to pop. We had general conversation about the goings-on at the apartment complex, and I scolded Preggo on smoking for about the eight-hundredth time. It might just sink in after she has the baby.
Anyway, at this point, I heard one of the most disturbing sentences ever uttered by a woman to my ears. I understand statements like this can be made to husbands or boyfriends, because they "put this damn thing in me" or whatever, but leave us innocents unmolested by horrifying statements like this. "He's lower than he's ever been" she began, and I understood what this meant with no further elaboration.... and then ....
"My cooch must be pushed out like this far" ... with the lovely little fingers spaced symbol to illustrate the INCH AND A HALF she had to be talking about... followed by... "and I'm still only three centimeters dialated!"
*Sigh* I am now wondering if they make enough whiskey to make these thoughts go away. Owwww....
Anyway, at this point, I heard one of the most disturbing sentences ever uttered by a woman to my ears. I understand statements like this can be made to husbands or boyfriends, because they "put this damn thing in me" or whatever, but leave us innocents unmolested by horrifying statements like this. "He's lower than he's ever been" she began, and I understood what this meant with no further elaboration.... and then ....
"My cooch must be pushed out like this far" ... with the lovely little fingers spaced symbol to illustrate the INCH AND A HALF she had to be talking about... followed by... "and I'm still only three centimeters dialated!"
*Sigh* I am now wondering if they make enough whiskey to make these thoughts go away. Owwww....
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Hey! A post about comic books! Marvels Solicitation List for August 2009!
Well, after another fun waterlogged day of looking for work in our stormy economy (Nice wordplay, huh?), I sat down infront of the old laptop and realized I've not written one post about comic books since I started this blog. When something is in the title of your blog, and you neglect to write about it, you pretty much fail as a person. WELL FAIL NO MORE!!!
Over at ComicBookResources.com they put up Marvel Comics' Solicitation list for August. Basically, that's all this shit they hope people are going to be excited about and order from their favorite comic book stores. For me, it's getting to look at lots of cool covers and find out whats coming out in Hardcover (THE way to read for storylines sake). So lets see what I think looks like fun off th
e list, shall we?
The Amazing Spiderman #601 - From what I know so far in Spidey right now, him and good ol' MJ are divorced and pretty much done with their relationship... so why are we still getting covers like this? Not that I mind, as there is no humanly possible way to draw Mary Jane Watson as anything but stupidly sexy, but it seems like they can't figure out anything else to put on spidey covers.
Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth #2: Deadpool basically owns the world. Any comic, web sketch, adult fan fiction novel, or anything else besides that fucking movie with him in
volved is gold to me. If you've never looked at Deadpool stuff, go buy or watch something. Now. Don't read the rest of this. Only really one more comic to go anyway. And boom goes the dynamite... (Click that web sketch link up there... here it is AGAIN)
Dark Reign: Hawkeye #5: Now, this is one storyline I'm actually into. All the fun shit with Norman Osbourne's Dark Avengers is fun, and his Iron Avenger armor looks incredibly badass... really. But the Hawkeye angle has to be my favorite. For those who don't know, Hawkeye has always been the funny smartass backbone of the A
vengers (Ryan Reynolds should have held out for that role in the Avengers if you ask me). But now, in good old 616-ville, Bullseye is wearing the purple. And killing people for fun. While trying to act like the old Hawkeye and spit out one liners. He is AMAZINGLY badass, and I can't wait for this to come out in TPB form so I can read the whole arc in one sitting. Awesome covers on this run too.
Focus CD...
Secondly, if you haven't read it or don't already own Fallen Son or The Death of Captain America, they are putting out an Omnibus Hardcover that has Captain America #25-42, so you can read all about the conspiracy over who shot Cap, watch the Falcon scream at random people for three issues, be sho
cked at Sharon Carter crying in a bathroom, and giggle and that damned Red Skull and all his insanity... Okay, I joke because I've read all these issues like ten times. This book kicks ass. Go get it.
Up next.... probably lots of Star Trek stuff... that movie kicked all kinds of ass and the interwebs has BLOWN UP with funny over it. See ya!
Over at ComicBookResources.com they put up Marvel Comics' Solicitation list for August. Basically, that's all this shit they hope people are going to be excited about and order from their favorite comic book stores. For me, it's getting to look at lots of cool covers and find out whats coming out in Hardcover (THE way to read for storylines sake). So lets see what I think looks like fun off th
e list, shall we?The Amazing Spiderman #601 - From what I know so far in Spidey right now, him and good ol' MJ are divorced and pretty much done with their relationship... so why are we still getting covers like this? Not that I mind, as there is no humanly possible way to draw Mary Jane Watson as anything but stupidly sexy, but it seems like they can't figure out anything else to put on spidey covers.
Deadpool: Merc with a Mouth #2: Deadpool basically owns the world. Any comic, web sketch, adult fan fiction novel, or anything else besides that fucking movie with him in
volved is gold to me. If you've never looked at Deadpool stuff, go buy or watch something. Now. Don't read the rest of this. Only really one more comic to go anyway. And boom goes the dynamite... (Click that web sketch link up there... here it is AGAIN)Dark Reign: Hawkeye #5: Now, this is one storyline I'm actually into. All the fun shit with Norman Osbourne's Dark Avengers is fun, and his Iron Avenger armor looks incredibly badass... really. But the Hawkeye angle has to be my favorite. For those who don't know, Hawkeye has always been the funny smartass backbone of the A
vengers (Ryan Reynolds should have held out for that role in the Avengers if you ask me). But now, in good old 616-ville, Bullseye is wearing the purple. And killing people for fun. While trying to act like the old Hawkeye and spit out one liners. He is AMAZINGLY badass, and I can't wait for this to come out in TPB form so I can read the whole arc in one sitting. Awesome covers on this run too.Well, that about does it for all the cool shit I saw on the list. One last minute thing, if you're like me and only (for the most part) read comics after they come out in trade form, there are TWO coming out in August that you should immediately pick up. Hulk: GREY is coming out near the start of Aug, and is one of the coolest written and drawn Hulk stories ever. Tim Sale and Joe Loeb worked on the book, and it was the basis for the coolest scene in the Ed Norton version of the Hulk movie, when Hulk has Betty on the cliff and roars at the lightning that Thor threw down because he was watching the Hulk. 
Okay, that last part with the Thor stuff was speculation, but they finally cast Thor and Loki in the movie, so my brain is all over that....
Okay, that last part with the Thor stuff was speculation, but they finally cast Thor and Loki in the movie, so my brain is all over that....Focus CD...
Secondly, if you haven't read it or don't already own Fallen Son or The Death of Captain America, they are putting out an Omnibus Hardcover that has Captain America #25-42, so you can read all about the conspiracy over who shot Cap, watch the Falcon scream at random people for three issues, be sho
cked at Sharon Carter crying in a bathroom, and giggle and that damned Red Skull and all his insanity... Okay, I joke because I've read all these issues like ten times. This book kicks ass. Go get it.Up next.... probably lots of Star Trek stuff... that movie kicked all kinds of ass and the interwebs has BLOWN UP with funny over it. See ya!
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